Walking between two worlds

If you’re happy and you know it, and you really want to show it,
If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!

Do you really know when you are happy?

Do you think you are happy because life is running smoothly, because you got the job, the raise or the partner that you wanted, and there are enough zeroes in your bank account to make you feel safe? Do you believe you can only be happy when all the boxes in your checklist of must-haves are ticked?

As long as you can pay your bills, go on holiday a few times a year, eat and drink well, indulge in a little – or a lot of – shopping, and still can afford to attend workshops, go for readings, buy crystals and sacred blends, then will you gladly continue in your spiritual pursuits. As long as you can comfortably divide your time the way you see fit – between family and friends, love life and daily life, work and play, lightwork and “real” work, then all is right with your world.

But what happens when one of the balls that you have been keeping in the air drops? What happens when a loved one falls critically ill? When you get an unexpected health scare? When a romance turns sour or a long-term relationship ends? What happens when, despite what you believe to be your best efforts, things don’t turn out the way you had hoped?

You want to know why. Why can’t things stay the way they are? Why does your boat have to be rocked, your world turned upside-down? Why can’t things just go the way you want them to? Haven’t you been good? Haven’t you been trying your best? Did this happen because of something you did, or didn’t, do?

If you think deeply enough, you will find that the answers to each question here lie in the external. What you are hoping to hear or see, is that something else, or someone other than you, has to be responsible for this sorry predicament you are in.

If you’re wondering if something negative occurred because of a decision you made, you are actually asking if you are being punished for making a wrong choice. If you think your world has collapsed because of something you did or did not do, or should have done, then you are also believing that you are being punished for having made a bad decision. And who else could be punishing you but God or Spirit?

As lightworkers, we know that we are constantly in the process of transformation, and that transformation can only occur with change. Unfortunately, for most, this is still more head knowledge than soul wisdom.

Being human, we want change without cost. Growth without pain. We want to move forward only when we want, or feel ready, to. And we only want or feel ready when all that our mind dictates as prerequisites are met. Even then, we want only to move at our own pace, on our own terms.

The moment someone or something that we hold dear is threatened, our instinct is to hold on to that person or thing as tightly as we can, and fight back – regardless of whether or not it really is the right thing to do. The moment our lifestyle, our comfort zone, or our sense of security is affected, we find the cost too high, and our fear of lack rises like a tsunami to block out light and clarity, leaving us quivering in shadow and doubt.

We need to stop asking, why me? Or, why him or her, and not me?

For who hasn’t suffered a blow or a loss in their lives?

It is not the perceived cause of the blow that matters. It is what you choose to do as a result of it, in spite of it, because of it, that does. And what matters even more is to know why you have made this particular choice.

If you persist in justifying to yourself that you are only doing what you are doing, or not doing what you aren’t doing, because you can see no other way, then I will tell you now that there are always options. Because we have been granted the gift of free will, we always have choices. If we cannot see them, it is because we choose not to – not because they aren’t there.

If you can only move forward when your path is brightly lit, when you have the time and money, when you can both feel and see the safety net beneath you, or when you decide that conditions are ideal, then you have made yourself both deaf and blind to the abundance of God or Spirit.

The laws of the universe teach that we attract people, things and circumstances to us; that whatever and whoever are in our lives are in them because we are on the same wavelength. Hence, if we resonate with fear of lack or lust for power and fame, then we will be challenged on these very things – through situations as well as by those who are of similar vibration as we.

What makes it more complex is the fact that we are now at a level of soul evolution where shifts and changes are occurring both externally and internally. And this is a threefold process:

1. We continue to attract whatever and whoever are on the same vibrational level, because this is the Law.

2. We are being helped with the releasing of energies and belief systems that no longer serve us i.e. we are in the process of karmic clearing. This does not mean that our slates are wiped clean with little effort on our part. It just explains why variations of situations and challenges keep cropping up. They give us the opportunity to master lessons that we keep failing, and to break bad karmic patterns that we keep falling into, time and time again.

3. The growth that we have achieved so far – all the inner work that we have been doing, the good and positive things that we have consciously and unconsciously focused on, are now manifesting. We are reaping the fruits of the Spirit. Yet at the same time, all the fears, the anger, the self-created illusions, are manifesting too. And these can, and do, manifest in the form of physical ailments as well as emotional challenges.

This, then, is what is happening right now: As more Divine energy and light continue to stream onto the earth plane, the outer and inner worlds are merging, manifesting, and in the process of finding balance.

So what you are attracting is coming up against what you are releasing, and what is challenging or testing you is, at the same time, bringing up all that is good and strong within you, as well as what is bad and weak. And as if that weren’t enough, all this is happening on all levels, individually as well as on a mass scale.

If you believe that you have been dealt a bad hand, stop crying and pull your head out of the sand. Because YOU are at the helm. YOU hold the steering wheel. You have freedom of choice, so nothing is ever forced on you.

The tests and challenges that you have passed and failed, that you are now facing, and which will continue to come your way, are simply the Universe’s way of nudging you forward. The harder the test, the greater the opportunity for growth.

Remove the blinkers from your eyes. Bend that stiff neck of yours. Unlock the chains around your heart.

Are others really not caring and supportive of you? Or do they just not fit your idea of what being caring and supportive should be? What makes you the authority on care and support, anyway? Do you yourself make others feel cared for and supported, or do you just think you do?

If you always bend backwards to please those you love, could those relationships be founded more on fear than love? Fear of being rejected or deemed unworthy? Because love has no conditions. If those you love deserve the best, so do you.

When illness or misfortune occurs, do you get angry with God and rant at the injustice of it all? Or do you somehow find a way to take the blame? If you habitually lay blame at the door of others, or consistently nurse a sense of guilt even as you try to protect and make things right for others, what are you really doing? Are you helping them, or repeating a bad karmic pattern that ultimately hinders soul growth all around?

If you want to do lightwork but feel it doesn’t pay well enough, ask yourself what you are actually seeking. Fame and fortune, or joy and fulfilment? If you are truly in service, is answering your soul’s call not reward enough? But if you want your life to maintain status quo, then perhaps you aren’t ready for change. And without change, there can be no transformation.

So then we are back where we started.

Now is the time to rise above our circumstances and get a bird’s eye view of the bigger picture. All that happens, happens for a higher reason.  What you make of that reason is a choice – YOUR choice.

What do you choose to take away from any or every test that comes your way? Do you choose fear and self-doubt? Do you focus on feeling sorry for yourself and staying angry at others? Do you cling to self-justification and delusion?

The Universe is trying to help us remove that which is low-vibrational and no longer serves our current state of soul development and mass consciousness. It is time to let your lower self release enough of its long-held baggage to rise and merge with your Higher Self. And let your Higher Self reveal itself to you and to others as it begins to lead.

Eventually, as our outer and inner worlds merge and balance, so will our lower and Higher Self. And we will know it. We will know that not only have we taken several steps closer to God, but we will also understand, soul-deep, that we are that much closer to God.

Then perhaps we will know enough that we are happy, and will want to show it, and clap our hands.


This, too, shall pass … so why bother?

If your understanding of the axiom that life is short makes you lose interest or joy in life, then you may need to listen out for the alarm that your guides are sounding. The average physical life span is only 70 to 80 years, so why waste the time you’ve been granted by focusing on the negative, or on just cruising through the years you have left?
To the awakened soul, the knowledge that everything is temporary serves to heighten its awareness of things, and spurs it on to a more positive attitude instead. It will appreciate the beauty of the world, and all that is around it, even more.
It will spend whatever time it has in its current incarnation to study and to learn, because deep down, it understands that the vastness of both Creator and Creation extends far beyond time and space, and whatever wisdom it gains, in whichever life it is in,  only adds to its own journey of growth and evolution.
As it learns more about things and the world it lives in, the soul also understands more about the Source of them all. In understanding more about its Source, it understands more about itself. In understanding more about itself, it realises that God is not only within it, but in everyone and everything around it – be it as small as the tiniest atom or as big as the largest star in the cosmos.
And when this knowledge sinks in, it inspires the soul to find joy in all that it does, in all that it shares life with, and in itself. Because then, the knowledge has transmuted into wisdom. And in  wisdom, the soul understands that every person that it loves, everyone that it helps, every challenge that it faces, and every chore or task that it takes on is but a minute representation of the Great. And this is what teaches, uplifts, strengthens and sustains it.
So, yes.  Everything is temporary.
But the soul that really understands this finds strength in that knowledge. For it knows that even the most difficult challenges and the worst of circumstances shall pass; as a divine spark of the eternal flame of God, it has the power to surmount all odds, to shine light on darkness. It also recognises the gift that Creator proffers to each and every person – the freedom to choose what to do with its life, and how to live it.
It is my hope that you choose to honour the Giver as much as you honour the gift you have received. By utilising it to its fullest; by living this “temporary” life with purpose, joy and grace.

To you, Mum

Dear Mum,

Was it just a year ago that you left us so suddenly, leaving us to grapple with the loss? Has it been only 365 days of having to learn to get on with our lives despite knowing, deep down, that things are — and will never be — the same again? The past 12 months have sometimes felt like 12 long years of drought.

And yet, despite the acute sense of loss and grief, despite our continuing struggle to cope, you have somehow held us all together. Sure, we’ve each had our moments of falling apart, but it is love — for you, for Dad, and for each other as family — that has been the superglue that keeps us bonded.

We learnt this from you and Dad, Mum.

When I look back, I wish I had made more effort, despite my busy schedule, to pick up the phone to call you, just to chat, more often. But I’m so glad that you weren’t afraid to do just that when you felt you hadn’t heard from me in a while. Because it is the memories of those sometimes trivial, yet always loving, conversations we shared that now inspire me to keep in touch with the people who are in my life. For they are in my life for a reason, and that makes them important.

I have watched Dad valiantly struggle through the past year, one day at a time, despite his loneliness and crippling grief. And somehow, despite our mad work schedules and commitments, my sisters and I have managed to work out and form as solid a support system as we can for him. It isn’t ideal, but it is perfect as it is, given the circumstances.

Today, we commemorated the first anniversary of your passing, and we were joined by relatives and friends who had remembered the date on their own and had asked if they could join us in visiting you at the columbarium. Not only did they take time off from their Chinese New Year celebrations to do this, but  they even came dressed in sober colours, on this 5th day of the Year of the Golden Pig.

And when we all sat down to lunch later, the conversation was light and filled with laughter as we reminisced about you. How often did we laugh and say, “Oh, Mum would love this!” or “Ugh, Mum doesn’t like that!”.

We still talk about you in the present tense. You know why? Because every person at that table has their own memories of you, and I realised that you have influenced or helped shape each of us into the person that we are today, in some degree or other, just by being you. What an amazingly powerful legacy that is.

So here’s to you, Mum. You are still with us, every moment of every day, because you are so very much alive in our hearts. And your light continues to shine through the way we each live our lives, one day at a time.

If I could make half the impact on the lives that I touch, it would be a life well lived. Thanks for the gift of this lesson. I love you.